Define Your Kinky Self

By on March 15, 2011.

15th March

Define your kinky self…. Dom, sub, switch?

I am submissive. Seems simple enough don’t you think? Actually it’s not that simple really. I know for sure I am not Dom, just the thought of even trying to be Dominant makes me grin, I would be utterly useless and, therefore, that also rules me out of the ‘switch’ group too but submission can’t be defined by one word, well I know mine can’t.

I am not a slave. I am not that type of submissive, I don’t wish to be treated as a housemaid or servant and you certainly will not find me being a table for Him to put His food on or cooking every meal that needs to be made. Nor will you find me pretending to be a pony or a dog. I am a woman and I want to be treated as one. Yes, I admit, I am a dirty slutty bad girl of a woman who needs a firm hand or she will run wild, but I am always a woman.

I view my submission as a gift, a precious gift at that, and I won’t give it away lightly or to any fool who thinks taking a whip to me is all that you need. To have my gift of submission you are going to have to earn it. I need a man who ‘gets’ me both emotional and physically and also one who can challenge me intellectually because without that, I will only end up running rings round Him and eventually getting bored. My Dom needs to be one step ahead of me, or it just won’t work.

I am most certainly submissive sexually but I am also naturally submissive in my thoughts and everyday life too but again, I am not a door mat and I am not a fool either. I need my brain stimulated by partner just as much as my body. In the bedroom I want to be used and abused. I need to know that His word is law there and that His rules will be followed. Without that I will play up and challenge Him more than I want to. Without that knowledge I would quickly become lost to my submission and return to my wild hedonistic side. A side of me that never really bought me happiness but that without control would lure me back like a dangerous drug.

Do I know my submission fully? No, and much of this blog is about that very fact; the journey into my submission and my D/s relationship with Him. Both are constantly evolving and we are constantly learning. Sometimes I wonder how far my submission will take me, in fact at times my need to descend into my darkest submissive fantasies scares me. Could I, would I, should I? But then that is why I have Him. He knows that his role in that is to push me, to explore those boundaries with me, to guide me and protect me but to test me too.

I know I am submissive but I also know that it is not as clearly defined as that. It is WHAT I am, for sure, being owned and collared, used and abused and knowing my place with Him all brings me a happy sigh of contentment. It makes me feel safe and whole and has been one of the greatest discoveries about myself as a person that I ever made but it’s far from complete, it is far from defined and to be honest I hope it never really is. I hope that it is a lifelong journey that He and I continue to make for the rest of our days together.

So you see, I am submissive, but I am a feisty little submissive who needs a Dom who will harness that defiance, learn to tame it when it’s needed and also learn to use it so that I can grow and succeed in others areas of my life. I am lucky to have found my Dom, a man who understands me, who knows that I want to submit but also knows that I need to be made to submit at times too. That I will snarl, and kick and scream until he eventually breaks that little defiant streak and brings me crashing to my knees which ultimately sets my true submissive nature free.

warhol inspired portrait of kinkMollyxxx

Ps… I chose this picture to illustrate this post as I think it shows my ‘kinky self’ well. I am a submissive with a defiant feisty streak. You can tie my wrist and make me kneel but I will look up at you with that challenge in my eye. ‘Go on then, make me!’ He always does by the way and soon that look changes to something all the more wild and primitive as I get what it is that I need.

This is my first post in the 30 Days Of Kink series. Check out my new page for a more detailed explanation of this writing project.

About: 

Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker
Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss
and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

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    • I agree, it is not clear cut and everyones kink is slightly different or means something slightly different to them. It was a good excersize though, really made me think it through. Thanks for the comment.

      Mollyxxx

  1. Hi there! This was a terrific post! The part that really spoke to me was how you view your submission as a gift. i also view my submissive ways as a gift and i always have. Like you, it’s something that i wouldn’t have ever given away without careful consideration and contemplation. Now things have changed for me some, i view my slavery as a gift i am allowed to give Him, it’s a precious gift that Master willingly and lovingly accepts. i love the evolution that we as submissives or slaves can make throughout our journeys. =)

    Peace to you!

    • Thank you very much for lovely and thoughtful comment. I am glad you understand about ‘the gift’ I find all to often that subs can have a negative view of themselves in this regard.

      Mollyxxx

  2. Wonderful post, says it all, I feel we have much in common.
    Thank you for sharing, you are a lucky couple, one day I hope to experience the same.
    Beth

    • Thank you for such a lovely comment. I hope you read some more. I love knowing that my words are recognised by people as something they identify with.

      Mollyxxx

  3. Great post and helped me understand the world of submission a little better (not being one myself – I guess dom is more my cup of tea – although I like a bit of both, I think!)

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