February.

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1st February 2011

Finally it’s here; I thought January was going to go on forever. The promise of a new month seemed to be constantly lurking ahead but tantalisingly out of reach for what seemed like an age. I think I January is the worse month of the year. It starts off, more often than not, with holidays and high days (not in the drug sense of the word you understand) but then it’s back to the daily grind and for some reason January is full of grind. If you in the northern hemisphere then January is a month of deep dark  winter and that brings with it the cold days and dark long nights to match it. Yet life goes on, work, school, kids etc and the excitement and expectations of a New Year can often be forgotten as all that ‘grind’ takes hold

Today is February and I am taking a moment to ponder, today feels more like a new start than Jan 1^st did to be honest, maybe because on Jan 1^st I was totally distracted from all those thought and just enjoying being near Him, whereas today I have had time to reflect, think, ponder the days and weeks ahead and wonder…..

I hope this year is going to bring me the answers I seeking, actually I really hope that February is going to bring some of them, as January seems to have failed me rather. I feel a rush of emotion as I write this to be honest. Fear and anxiety all mixed up and churning around within, the unknowns making my brain ache and the thought of the long weeks of separation ahead of us often seem quite overwhelming. Unlike our times apart before, we always had a date to focus on, this time there can be no date, until we get some answers.

So welcome February, I am glad you are finally here, you bring with you the promise of spring, you cast aside the dark long month of January and it’s never ending feeling. You bring with you some hope, even thought you will be another month I have to live without him you are also another month closer to the ending of this agony. All we need now, are answers. Please February…….please be the month where I find the light at the end of this tunnel

Mollyxxx