Why does 2 weeks with him fly by in a blink of an eye and yet the last 14 days, and counting, without him feel more like weeks than days? It’s a question that bothered me all day yesterday. It suddenly hit me that we had only been apart 14 DAYS and yet those 14 days have felt like quite a struggle to be honest and of course that then leads onto me realising that this is nothing compared to what lays ahead. Ahead of us is weeks and weeks, maybe even a few months of separation and I am struggling with 14 days?
So why, why does our time together always fly by, why does it always feel so short, and yet the time apart drags, each day is a challenge and the time feels twice as long as it really is. I guess it’s down to that age old saying, time flies when you are having fun, but that that would imply that the hours we spend together on Skype when separated by distance are not fun, and that is far from the case.
Those moments are all wonderful and special in themselves, I treasure each and every one of them, we laugh and talk and work and eat and sleep together, but they don’t fulfil that NEED in me to be near him, a need that just seems to grow and strengthen every day. The need to be touched and to touch, the need to kiss and be kissed, the need to smell him, taste him, love him that can only pass between 2 people when they are physically together is with me every moment of every day.
People say to me keep busy, focus on the long term, concentrate on your goal, etc, etc, etc and they are right, and that is what I do, if I didn’t I would have gone crazy long before now, but doing those things never takes the need away, that need is never satisfied. He tells me it will all be OK and I believe him, I know he is right, he says to be patient. He says I am impatient, and maybe he is right. I am impatient to be with Him, to start living a full life together, to not have to keep living on the internet and relying on snatched visits here and there, I know what I want and more to the point what I need and so when he says I am impatient he is right. I want Him
Waiting is not my strong point but wait I must, there is no choice, but to endure the wait for the next time when I get what it is I really need, in the meantime he is gone. Not lost mind you, we are together every day but his physical presence in my life is gone for now and I must learn to cope with that void in my life yet again.