29th August 2010
I am sorry for the interruption in service on my blog but sometimes life throws things at you that you are just not expecting and last week was one of those very moments. I have been floundering (and no fish jokes please) trying to find my way through the darkness that I suddenly found myself in.
I have been wandering down a darkened tunnel and I felt that I was just starting to see the light at the end of it, I was starting to head towards the light and then last week I was suddenly plunged back into the darkness. I was lost and scared and something else too, oh yeah, damn fucking mad with the world for the unfairness of it all. Now the tunnel was long again and the light, that had been growing ever stronger, seemed to be gone, or at least I couldn’t see it anymore.
And so I stumbled and fell and just as I was about to hit the ground strong arms scooped me up and saved me and that is really what this post is about, not the circumstances of what happened but how those circumstances made me truly see him and his love and passion for me. Not that I didn’t see them before, or know them before but his ‘rescue’ just served to show me that what I knew before, what I saw before, was only the beginning.
His strength lifts me up, his determination to make things work gives me hope and his calm manner with which he approaches the future enables me able to breathe. I find myself encompassed in gloom and darkness and yet he takes my hand and leads me forward and shows me that there is a way. It might not be the way that we planned and it might mean longer apart for the time being but that this new path will bring joy and reward all of its own and ultimately a permanent conclusion
We have come such a long way over the last year, overcome the hurdles that have stood in our path and now we seem to be faced with the biggest hurdle of all, the US government, but it doesn’t matter, because we not matter what, he wants me and I want him and so together we have found the light at the end of tunnel and with our best foot forward have set off on the journey together, towards it.
Ps….sorry if I have been a little cryptic but in time I am sure more details will be revealed.