Febuary 7th 2010
Hmm, where do I start with this one? I mean, what’s there to say about this book that has not already been said. It is, after all, one of the most famous erotic novels of all time, much reviewed, analysed and discussed. It has paved away for a future generation of ‘erotic’ writers and to this day, remains one of the few books that portrays a Dom/Sub BDSM relationship with such amazing depth and understanding. No literally masterpiece for sure, but it is honest, open, raw, dark, compelling, loving, passionate and much more besides, just like O and Sir Stephen’s relationship in fact. Nothing much new to say here then, oh but there is…….I need to tell you about O and me
What do you see when you think of O? A woman driven by love to submit to her man’s darkest desires? A sexual predator of other women? A Brave woman? A women who knows herself so incredible well, knows her capabilities, her desires, her strengths and her weaknesses? A Submissive slave? Maybe you see all these things, or maybe you see something completely different, but I just see me. The more I read, the more I understood, the more I saw myself. Not necessarily in the physical things that happens to O. I would not want to be taken to Roissy, to be shared, or even given away. In fact that last bit would be my destruction, if he gave me away, for without him I am not me.
No, what I see of myself in O is the person, the self knowledge she has, the pride in whom and what she is, her ability to endure for love, her strength of character to be whom and what she is even when faced with others incomprehension. O knows she is on a journey, she knows she can survive anything whilst loved by him, and is prepared to prove it, but she also knows that she needs a man who will drive her. This is not submission to please him; it is submission because it completes her.
When she is whipped, she fights and cry’s and begs for it to stop, each stoke is agony, each stroke takes her further from herself, she hates every moment of it, yet once it’s over, she craves it once again, for she knows that with pain she will also find pleasure, that she was created to be used BUT she was also created to be loved for who and what she is, and loved she is, by Sir Stephen. For, in my opinion, Rene is the ‘great pretender’ within this story. The true Dom and O’s true love and true Master is, without doubt, Sir Stephen. A women like O can only truly submit herself fully to a man who can take the whip to her himself, holding her down whilst others do it……that makes Rene ultimately weak in O’s eyes, as it does in mine.
I read O with a racing heart, parts of it make me gasp, much of it makes me wet and throbbing, but more than anything else it scares me. To see one’s own self, ones ‘darkness’ reflected back at you, can be a scary thing. When I read O I cannot hide from who I am, not that I want to, but O makes me wonder how far will my darkness take me, how much do I want, how much can I stand, how much can I tolerate and endure, how much do I crave, to what depth will my submission take me? It’s these questions that scare me, because I know that without going on my own journey I will never find the answers to these questions, I have to face my fears or I will forever remain uncompleted, my boundaries unknown, my questions about myself unanswered, my submission unexplored, my true self undiscovered.