23rd January 2010
The worst thing that can happen to any sub is for her to be left by her Dom, or rejected, it’s like taking away a child’s safety blanket….you leave her bereft, and broken, lost, and damaged, vulnerable and seriously doubting herself. As I said before, she becomes a woman with a submissive nature, no longer a Sub. But submissive women are submissive for a reason….because they are in fact, little power houses of strength. Sounds like a contradiction I know, but it’s not, only strong women, who really know themselves and can admit what they are, can really be submissive. You have to be so sure of yourself, really know and trust yourself, to be able to fully give your gift of submission to someone else. It’s not like a marriage, where there is equality, where you can hold a little bit of yourself back. In a Dom/Sub relationship you have to give it all, body, mind and soul…..in the raw….open and exposed…physically and mentally.
A good Dom takes your soul and exposes it….He plays with it, tests it, drives it, challenges it and break its to his will, to his desire. That’s what you have to be prepared for if you give someone your gift and if he leaves you then you have to be strong enough take your soul back and fix it….protect it…restore it to being your soul again…..and you can’t give it away again until you have done that.
I have done it, fixed it back into place, reclaimed it and made it mine again. I have learnt a lot about myself, about what I am capable of and about what I need. I am stronger now, more sure of myself. I understand my submissive nature better. I don’t know how deep it goes, or how far it will take me but I am ready to find out and give myself away again to someone deserving, to someone worthy. I am ready for him.
However I had started to think that ‘he’ didn’t exist, the Dom I so longed for. I mean where do you find a ‘loving Dom’? It’s pretty unlikely that you will bump into him at the supermarket, or find him amongst the other Dad’s at the school gates! You can advertise of course, but trust me, that isn’t as easy as it sounds and you get inundated with 2 types…. The complete weirdo’s who are creepy and scary or the great pretenders, who think wielding a whip is all it takes. Neither of which are for me and so I had given up and resigned myself to being a women with submissive tendencies, a sub without a dom. Imagine my surprise then, when I do find him, right there on the internet, waiting, made for me, and I for him. If I could have ordered him online at the Dom Shop (wonders if I should start a Dom Shop…LOL) he could not have been more perfect……Well, maybe I would have ordered one who lives a little closer to home but that’s a minor difficultly that can be overcome if it’s truly meant to be. So, now my soul belongs to someone else again. It is open and exposed, laid bare on the table for him to delve into. He will take me, use me and expose me, my mind, body and soul, to his dark desires and help me find mine, take me to my limits and beyond. So no more wondering, no more hesitations, no more waiting. I am ready!
This is my fate……I’m Yours